Lewis family matters.

A conversation with Mum on the phone this morning.

Mum: I can’t believe your father didn’t come over and mow the lawn before Christmas like he said he would.
Me: Call him and tell him that!
Mum: No! And don’t you tell him either! I want to see if he remembers!

Later, during an unrelated phonecall with Dad…

Dad: So hows the Brunswick house going?
Me: Really good.
Dad: And what did you do today?
Me: Oh, you know, pottered around the garden, MOWED THE LAWN
Dad: Oh yeah..well that sounds nice.
Me: Yep, sometimes it’s hard to MOW THE LAWN, but in the end we found it quite easy to MOW THE LAWN.
Dad: Excellent. Well, see you tommorow!
Me: Yes, see you toMOWow.
Dad: Bye!

FIN.

A song to sing on your ride to school tomorrow

I wrote this song today after Stu and I rode into uni together.

For the Kylie fans, it’s sung to the tune of ‘Hand on Your Heart’.

"Hand On Your Bell"

Put your hand on your bell and tell me
That you’re passing, ooh
Oh, put your hand on your bell
Hand on your bell

Well it's one thing to ride your bike to Parkville,
But another to get there fast
I thought that you were just behind me
And now both my legs are in a cast
Oh, look me in the eye
And tell me your just riding through

You know it's one thing to say you’re passing
But another to mean it from the heart
And if you didn’t intend to kill me
Then why did my head fall apart?
Oh, I wanna hear you tell me
Watch out on the right

Put your hand on your bell and ring it
When you’re passing
Out on the right
Put your hand on your bell and ring it
On your way through, ooh

Oh, put your hand on your bell
Hand on your bell

They like to talk about good riding
But most people never read the signs
They wanna, go left down Tin Alley
But can’t even ride between the lines
Oh, I wanna hear you dinging
When you’re riding past

Put your hand on your bell and ring it
When you’re passing
Out on the right
Put your hand on your bell and ring it
On your way through, ooh

Oh, put your hand on your bell
Hand on your bell

Oh, look me in the eye
And tell me your just riding through

Put your hand on your bell and ring it
When you’re passing
Out on the right
Put your hand on your bell and ring it
On your way through, ooh, ooh whoa whoa.

-o FIN o-

How Did I End Up On The Cover Of This Romance Novel?

Last week at the supermarket, while shopping for my weekly supply of three dozen eggs and 12 pounds of mutton, I spotted a rack near the checkout...

Always be prepared.

I love this.



Turns out the star stormed off stage at the beginning of the opera, forcing the understudy to join the show half way through in his hometime duds.

Thanks Carlos for making my day yesterday with this one!

What's that I hear???

Is it... RAINING???

Laboratory beauty tips 101

Hey ladies!

Don't you just hate it when you spill 100% ethanol all over you manicure after embedding leaf sections with LR White? Well don't worry about that chalky nail residue appearing that reveals every detail of your badly chipped polish. Simply go to the fumehood and grab that acetone spray bottle!

Just a few sprays and your nails are back to normal*!!!

*To prevent tissue damage, simply follow up with a three hour hand rinse followed by a seven day, once hourly hand moisturiser application.

Mark Thomas Hewitt...

...I will win this advertising war.

Industrial accident Friday #314

What do you do when you want to leave work at exactly 3.45PM on the dot?

Start treating clay blocks with peroxide solution at exactly 3.44PM!!

Dude – what was I thinking? I’ve done this procedure a thousand times without incident. After pouring the peroxide into the buckets, the rocks fizzed a little as they always do. Three seconds later, massive plumes of Sulphurous vapour and bubbling fossil sediment were flying everywhere. Luckily it was within the confines of a fumehood and a primarily empty lab, so there were no grown ups around to see me frantically running back and forth with arms flailing. It was also lucky that Carlos was right there to help me clean up the mess and change my lab goggles every time I kept steaming them over with terror sweat. Nothing gets terror sweat out of lab coats (except more terror!).

Luckily, everything worked out okay, and now I’m back home to get ready before going out for some tasty Thai at Leela Wadee with the Thursday night dinner crew, as we have moved Wednesday nights Thursday night to Friday night for one night only.

See you next week from the vantage of my brand new home!