Is Jeff Lynne your favourite Travelling Wilbury? Don't you just wish you would hear Chris Rea's 'Let's Dance' just once an actual dance floor? Do you wish that James Taylor was your real Dad? Meet FEMBOTanist!

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Where the fuck is the yellow bike now?

Do you think mum and dad threw it out?

This is the last know photograph of yellow bike, as ridden cross-eyed backwards by Amy.

I remember when I used to get around on that bike, not by peddling, but by 'rowing' with half an old broom handle.

Then someone threw the broom handle away.. and we kind of gave up on sports. At this time, mum should have stepped in and put us on the tv audition circuit.

We could have been the next Mary Kate and Ashley.

Thanks a lot, mum.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

The ol' 59er.

overheard on the number 59 tram this afternoon..

Schoolgirl 1
"oh my god, I like, consider myself as a smoker even though, like, I haven't even like, had a ciggie in like, two weeks".

Schoolgirl 2

" yeah, like, I know, cos, like, Im so stressed out, I even smoked on Sunday, because like, I've got double English double SOSE double Psych on Mondays".

Why did I get on the tram at 3.30pm on a school day?

Sunday, July 23, 2006

James and Emma, Botany ball 2006

Highlights from the All Colour Cookbook, 1971

Perhaps you would prefer our vegetarian option?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Daily show goodness.

"A play about a talking vagina".

Monday, July 17, 2006

Just a few of us....

...building castles in the sky.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

I love it when people read The Onion as if a newspaper.

Check out this one as reported by the super


It's school reunion time!

Who would of thought that only three years after they fucked over Melbourne University Student Union, Ben Cass and Darren Ray would turn out to look like even fatter, greasier, piggly wigglier versions of their 2003 selves?

What are the odds?

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Congratulations to my 1000th reader!

Before Sui discovered fembotanist....

...after Sui discovered fembotanist.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Warning - the term 'sediment trap' is used twice in this post.

A unexpected thing happened today in the lab. There I was, processing some fossil clay at the sink, ipod blaring, bebopping and scatting away to 'Easy Lover' by Phil Collins. Just as I thought to myself how rad it was to finally be earning money without having to work in 'Lollywood' at the Airport West cinema anymore, I notice a slight sound of trickling liquid in my general vicinity.

I let this go on for a while because I thought it was just the sound of water running down the sink. After a couple of minutes, I turned around to get a pen, only to find that I was completely surrounded by a huge puddle of liquid that was slowly making its way around and into about 300 cardboard boxes of fossil bearing rock and mud under one of the lab tables.

Now, the one thing about random floodings in a laboratory is that you initially can't be sure if it that liquid is in fact water. Because the next sink down was sometimes used for acid disposal, there was a lingering 1% chance that I could have been standing in something of a slightly lower pH with a slightly higher incidence of skin melting than water. My fears were put at ease however when I lifted my shoe off the ground and my leg didn't snap of at the kneecap, Terminator 2 style.

Yep - I was pretty sure it was water, and pretty sure it was the sediment trap that hath doth overfloweth betwix mine hooves.

Unfortunately, I had to deliver the good news to my supervisor. The best part was that I got to bust in on a meeting he was having with the head of the department in order to tell him I had just flooded his lab. Luckily, he's a righteous dude, and I didn't get into any trouble.

What I did get into was about an hour of mopping up the mess, with millions of years of Victorian prehistoric plant history being mopped into my slop bucket like so much fetid bilge water. The highlight of the afternoon was when two absolutely delightful blokes from Building and Services came to fix the sediment trap. These guys were more interested in my fossils and fossil related chitchat than the laboratories ensuing high tide. Isn’t it funny how most of the people who work on campus in non-academic roles are usually the nicest people?

Yeah… everyone except for those cunts in the scholarships office, who can $uck my b@lls.

Anyway, the mess is cleaned up and tomorrow is another day of fossil processing and adult contemporary hits…and nothing passes the time faster than my Steve Winwood/Bruce Hornsby megamix.


Sunday, July 02, 2006

Ah….the hilarity.

I can highly recommend this facial recognition website to kill a few hours on Hangover Sunday.

After submitting a photo of James, his best match was Haley Joel Osment with a 58% likeness. That’s right – my boyfriend looks like the kid who sees dead people.

After submitting a photo of myself, I matched most closely to Mischa Barton, with a 75% likeness. Wow - this software is sooooooo accurate. I was desperately excited about this until I submitted my next photo and was deemed most similar to Kathy Bates. Now that's more like it!

For the identical twin test, I also submitted a photo of Amy, and she too was most similar to Mischa Barton, with a likeness of 74%.

At least this exercise confirms that I’m still at least 1% hotter than Amy.

The missing triplet.