Is Jeff Lynne your favourite Travelling Wilbury? Don't you just wish you would hear Chris Rea's 'Let's Dance' just once an actual dance floor? Do you wish that James Taylor was your real Dad? Meet FEMBOTanist!

Friday, September 29, 2006

"Dosen't she see that her kids need stuff like a bedroom to sleep in instead of the living room?"

You can’t innocently Google ‘honey cupcakes' without coming across pure blog gold these days. You would swear this was written to be an article in The Onion… but it’s actually a real person from California.

“Valentine's Day was good! The only bad part about it was having to go to work. I cooked my honey his favorite dish meatloaf baked into a heart, tripple cooked potatoes, and heart shaped bread sticks he loved them. He bought me the present I told him to get me so I was happy! The bitch got nothing from her man *lol* oh well thats not her real valentine anyways she has someone on the side.”

"We spent the night at San Jose and went to their 2 story chucky cheese! It was so much fun! We also went to my honey's Dad's grave."

“Yesterday I got in a fight with my honey. He got mad because I went out and bought him a cute outfit for him for the party. But hey it's not like its bran new it was from a thrift store so he only owes me $15.00 and he was upset about that! He was mad because I didnt take him with me but he hates to go shopping so I thought I was doing him a favor. Then I got mad at him because he claims he has no money to pay me back but yet he wants to buy the metellica dvd. Why can't he give me that money? He is a ungreatful bastard.”

"I guess I shouldn't be mad atleast Becky knows that me and my future hubby is going to have a good life. She is putting us in her will so that if she dies me and him get her daughters."

My personal favourite is New Years Eve 2004…

“I hope what they say about New Years isnt true... what you do on New Years you do your whole year. If so my years going to suck. I had to work new years eve at my lame job then my boyfriend and I went to a party and only stayed until 11:00 because they where all "partying" a bit to much and Im not like that so we went back to his apartment to chill and watch the new years ball go down. We where both a bit hungry so we looked in the freezer and his crazy roommate had taken out all of my boyfriend's food out of the boxes and bags that they where in and shoved them into one Target bag. So all of his food went bad and we had to starve because everything was closed... what a bitch she is!”

I also really enjoy her use of the word “suposivly”. If only she still updated…

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

If a cow had the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

"Brett, I just want eggplant in the vestibule.."

"...and the hot pink poofs as well."

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Scrabble with Kyatt and Emily, Barwon Heads.

Guy Sebastian can l!ck my a$$.

I was going to write something about Guy "Sure I am anti-abortion but that is not what this is about" Sebastian's interview in the Herald sun today, but Ms Fits put it so well that I no longer feel the need.

In other Guy news...this afternoon, Laura and I were privelleged to be at Highpoint just before he was to perform his new single "What I'd really like is one up the ass". For some reason, Laura didn't want to have her pregnant unwedded stomach blessed by Guy before the show, no matter how much I insisted.

Some people, eh??

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Trouble, Big Willie Style.

So what if 700 grams of dope and 91 grams of magic mushrooms were found in Willie Nelson's tour bus???

Clearly, this was a set up, linked to both September 11 and both Kennedy asassinations. I bet you it goes all the way back to the white house.

And even if it is true, we forgive you Willie...for what I'm sure was a once only slip up.

Does this look like the face of a man who would smoke a doobie??

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Yeah. So....................

Man.. how funny am I NOT since Steve Irwin died?

Meanwhile, Kyatt sent me this, and I love it.

I'll be back on board soon, adoring fans...

Monday, September 04, 2006

A bloomin' Aussie tragedy...

...but the soothing prose of Amy Lewis in an email to me this afternoon put things into perspective.

In the words of school principal Ed Rooney himself, "between grief and nothing... I choose grief".

I'll choose to ignore the other extremely tragic headline on

...and instead choose to focus on "Lollipop man burnt down school".

Conjurs up a great image doesn't it?