At an Australia Day Eve party a few weeks ago some friends of mine were booking airline tickets for Nick’s birthday extravaganza in Queensland. Instead of lining up at the laptop and drunkenly mashing my credit card number into the keypad with my cloven hoove, I decided to proceed with caution and wait until the following day to book my tickets. There were also other important factors to consider. My thesis is keeping me very busy at the moment, and is due in not but one month after the trip.
Awaking the next morning I had completely forgotten about the proposed holiday and went about the business of attending Claire’s Australia Day party down the road. After enjoying three* glasses of white it suddenly occurred to me that the best idea would be to proceed drunkenly into Claire’s bedroom and book tickets right then and there.
Back in the lab on Monday I happily printed out my itinerary and slipped it into my diary. I was showing no signs of regret - I had made the right decision and couldn’t wait to be placed in a rubber ring by a hot lifeguard, line up in wet clothes for forty minutes, spend the following three seconds sliding down the slippery slopes of fun, get a massive wedgie (both bums) and then be plucked out of said ring by another hot lifeguard. only to repeat the process thirty-eight or thirty-nine times that day.
Fast forward a month to last night after dinner when I check my email account and am surprised to find a courtesy email from Virgin Blue reminding me that my flight was taking off TOMORROW NIGHT as opposed to TOMORROW NIGHT ONE MONTH FROM TODAY as I needed it to be.
Momentarily I was distracted by the thought of leaving the flights as they were and spending the 23rd of Feb until the 25th of March at Wet and Wild Resort, but doubted that my supervisor would allow me to continue my electron microscopy from the summit of Splash Mountain. Luckily my grovelling phone call to Virgin at 11.00PM was successful and I was allowed to change the flight at a ‘small’ extra cost.
It made me think of the Steve Lewis ‘Is it worth spending that money?” equation, where you ask yourself “how many stubbies can this money buy?” and base your decision on what you would prefer. For example, I could buy that warm winter coat right now or alternatively drink 150 stubbies at home tonight (now you see why Dad still has holes in his work shoes). Basically, it cost me approximately 45 stubbies of VB to change the flights, which is ironic considering that is the approximate amount of beer my friends and I will drink on the two hour flight from Melbourne to the Gold Coast on Friday one month from now.
So let this be a warning to you, fellow grown ups.
Under no circumstances should you book tickets for a Two Night, Three Day Wet and Wild White Water World Waterslide Weekend Extravaganza™ when barely able to read the numbers on your credit card through the drunken haze of Australia Day merriment and cheap Sauvignon Blanc.
* seven or eight
