In the last week I have achieved the following:

Drank from a penis shaped straw
Planted hundreds of trees
Opened some gates
Manhandled a yabby
Hung out with a delicious dog
Half learnt a complicated card game
Covered my face in Vicks
Covered my face in Aeroguard
Dined in the worst bistro ever
Had a wee on a tree, thrice
Stalled a 4WD four times in front of the police in Yarrawonga
Witnessed a magic trick by a drunken old man in Yea
Saw an echidna on top of a hill
Patted a disgruntled goat
Drank 53 cups of weak Nescafe blend 43
Saw alpacas and sheep just having a chat
Screamed “go back to your hive and protect your queen you fucking cunts!!!” to a hill covered in bees
Got chased by a bee around a hill
Got stung by a bee on my head
Had a sting picked out of my braincase by Warwick
Lost two games of pool
Devoured a delicious beef and reef
Grew several neck testicles
Developed a large left bicep
Laughed all week long talking to a funny, funny man


It's been a good week.