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Monday, May 14, 2007

The future.

I’m twenty five years old, I’ve spent nearly eight years at university and I’m still not really sure what I want to be when I grow up.

This is something that I think about all the time. However, instead of making any big decisions, I just did an Honours year studying fossil conifers. Then two years looking down a microscope at leaves for my Masters thesis. I’m even eyeing off potential PhD projects involving exotic field trips (duration one week) and three years of sequencing plant DNA and data analysis (duration three years minus one week).

As you may have guessed from my recent past, I think that time wondering about possible careers is best spent pursuing an academic career in a narrow field with few jobs and little prospects. You wouldn’t want a job at the end of nearly a decade of study, would you? I just figured that I may as well learn how to use an electron microscope and get an extra degree whist weighing up my options. Don’t get me wrong – I loved the projects I’ve done and wouldn’t swap the experiences I’ve had in the lab for anything. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – my life is a fantasy camp. The thought of leaving the lab and saying goodbye to the endless laughter, joy rides in mining trucks and weekly industrial accident cover-ups makes me want to be a plant scientician forever. Unfortunately, I still just don’t know if academia is the life for me. So as my project nears completion, I am forced to decide what to do next with my life.

The following list represents the things I’m not willing to do for any amount of money:

Work in a discount variety store of any description
Work in a shitty suburban cinema, even if I was the manager and making more money than Donald Trump
Watch more than three consecutive minutes of Medium or CSI
Eat own poo

Conversely, here is a list of things I love to do and will gladly engage in for cash:

Write abusive letters to the editor of the Herald Sun about Tony Abbott being a complete cockchop who can shove his Christian family ideals right up his Uranus
Listen to talkback radio just to hear Beryl from North Balwyn’s opinion on “that Michelle Colby”
Watch the entire back catalogue of Prisoner on DVD
Photoshop myself into photos of The Highwaymen

Unfortunately, not many employment opportunities come with the above selection criteria.

So what am I to do with myself?

How about run off overseas for two months with no money and only one legitimate reason for being there in the first place? So I’m off to Chicago in July for a botany conference, then flying on to London to find myself* in Europe for a little while. I guess I’ll just finish my thesis and choose a career when I get back.

Haaaaaa!


*possibly eat own poo

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5 Comments:

Blogger Michael... said...

Ahh, the future. I should probably start thinking about that.

At this point my dream is to complete 10 years of higher education without ever actually getting a degree- so far so good.

Oh, by the way- I have Season 1 of prisioner signed by Val 'Top Dog' Lehman herself.

May 14, 2007 9:00 PM  
Blogger Anthony said...

Avoid the real world I say... the workforce sucks!!

Although Im sure somehow you can combine Talk back radio and abuse directed to Tony Abbott together while photoshopping yourself into various photos... there has to be SOMEWHERE that allows such fun and games!

May 15, 2007 2:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you're happy to relinquish the 'eat own poo' clause, you could be a Guide Dog?

You coming raspberry pickin' this Saturday or WHAT?

May 15, 2007 8:13 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

Why decide? Why not just escape into the warm fuzzy protective shell of academia for another 3 funded beutiful years drinking coffee at Blue Zone and house wine at UH?
Yeah - same questions for myself. Descisions, descisions.....

May 16, 2007 9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well sweetie, I’m twenty nine years old, I’ve spent nearly nine years at university and I’m still not really sure what I want to be when I grow up. I remember when I started my PhD I met a very jaded student who was into his fourth or fifth year of his PhD who said just don't do it! I am beginning to see his point now. But actually make sure you are out of here by 29 I'm beginning to feel that Real Life TM might not be so bad. =) What's the bet I'll get to 35 and my best real job ever will be a toss up between call centre chick, office temp and professional nappy changer?

May 16, 2007 4:49 PM  

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